Monday, 27 June 2011

Noodle Soup

This is tasty, and my vegetarian friends will be delighted to see that it really doesn't have to be meaty...

1. In a deep pan, lightly fry some CHOPPED GARLIC, CHOPPED CHILLIES, CHOPPED LEEK, SLICED MUSHROOMS, BABY CORN, and FRESH or STRAIGHT TO WOK NOODLES.  I also added some CHICKEN but you don't have to.  I rather think that if you were able to get your hands on some DIM SUM DUMPLINGS that they would make quite an addition.  Simon seemed to think you could get them from Tesco but I'm not at all sure about that.  You'd add them after adding the liquid anyway, if you did have some, not now. 
2. Meanwhile, make up a goodly amount of CHICKEN or VEGETABLE STOCK, then slosh in some THAI FISH SAUCE (this you CAN get from TESCO), some SOY SAUCE, and some LIME JUICE.  Add a couple of LEMONGRASS STICKS and allow to infuse.
3. Stir some lovely CHOPPED FRESH MINT and CHOPPED FRESH CORIANDER and also some GROUND CORIANDER into your pan, then add your liquid.  Bring to the boil and then allow to simmer for ten minutes, or longer if you want.
4. Season to taste with SALT and PEPPER, then serve up with chopsticks and a spoon. 

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Lambtasty

Don't fancy Porktasty?  Here's Lambtasty!

1. Do the same as in porktasty, but don't add cinnamon, instead add a small amount of CUMIN SEEDS, and perhaps some DRIED ROSEMARY, and a LAMB STOCK CUBE instead of a pork one.
2. Cider vinegar?  No!  Use RED WINE VINEGAR!

Otherwise it's all the same, and I'm not typing it out again, sorry. 

Porktasty



 The virtue of this is that it tastes great. It does involve three separate manoeuvres, so I can't claim it's as simple as some of my one-pot stuff, but don't be put off - it really isn't hard. Unless you're a fool. Are you a fool? I hope not.

1. First off, chop your lovely AUBERGINE (that's EGGPLANT to you, my American friends) and COURGETTES (ZUCCHINI) and put them in a roasting tin with some CHERRY TOMATOES.  Season and drizzle with oil then roast in your finest oven.
2. Have a bit of a break, then it's time to start thinking about the next bit.  Get some cous cous and make it up in a bowl with some CHICKEN STOCK GRANULES added to the boiling water, not too many, but enough to add flavour to the cous cous.
3. While that's doing it's magic fluffy thing, it's time for the third bit!  For this, you need to put some FAT CLOVES OF GARLIC, a PORK STOCK CUBE, some CORIANDER SEED, some GROUND CORIANDER, some GROUND CINNAMON, some DRIED THYME, some DRIED CHILLI FLAKES, and some SALT and PEPPER into your pestle and mortar and pound, pound, pound.  Add a little OLIVE OIL to help make it go all paste-y.
4. Take some NICE PORK, something with a little fat on.  Pork belly would do if you're feeling fatstravagant, or pork steaks are fine.  Just nothing too lean.  Lean pork is a sad thing.  Pigs are not made to be thin.  Anyway, chop it into bite-sized pieces and fry it up in a good pan. When it's starting to coat itself in the magical brown juice that appears if you fry pork long enough, turn the heat down and add your garlic mix.  Fry this slowly until the garlic has had a chance to take and then add a healthy dollop of RUNNY HONEY.  Stir all this in then add a few tablespoons of CIDER VINEGAR.  Turn the heat up again and reduce everything down into a sticky mess, stirring constantly.
5. Is everything done?  Have you fluffed your cous cous with a fork? Are you satisfied with the state of your vegetables? If so, then go ahead and mix it all together, though try not to break up the tomatoes when you do.  It might be an idea to reserve them and add them last.  Just saying.
6. Season to taste and serve!

N.B. I have, in the past, added steamed broccoli, which is another faffy step, but if you have someone helping you really does taste good.  Up to you.  In fact, this is now YOUR porktasty, so use whatever veg you fancy.  I won't judge. Not carrots though.  That would be madness.

N.B. Like the sound of porktasty but don't/can't eat pork? Why not try lambtasty? Lambtasty has its very own page on this blog, just for you!

Friday, 3 June 2011

Linguine with Smoked Salmon and Capers

Annikki has asked about easy midweek suppers, so here's one:

1. Boil your LINGUINE.
2. When it's cooked and drained put it in a pan with some OLIVE OIL, GARLIC SALT, SMOKED SALMON TRIMMINGS, BLACK PEPPER, CAPERS, and a VEGETABLE OXO CUBE dissolved in about a quarter of a mug of water.  Stir everything through over a low-medium heat so the salmon starts to go less orange and more pink.
3. Stir in about half a tub of CREME FRAICHE.  I used the healthy eating stuff and it didn't seem to affect the taste adversely, so you could do that if you liked.
4. Now, here's where you add about 30g of CHEESE.  I never like to be prescriptive about cheese, so by all means choose your favourite, but I would recommend not using cheddar as it can be greasy in these situations.  My big surprise was that I used Double Gloucester with Onions and Chives from the Co-Op and it worked amazingly well, so that could be a way to go.  Anyhow, stir in your cheese so it melts and coats the rest of the linguine.
5. Finally, stir in about half a pack of WILD ROCKET, until the rocket wilts into the dish.
6. Serve, in nice bowls, perhaps with some crusty garlic bread, which you will have earned by not using full-fat creme fraiche.  And enjoy!

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Ragu Pie with a Rustic Potato Cheese Crust

You're going to love me for this one.

1. Cube some peeled CARROTS, and chop up a couple of ONIONS.  Half moons? Rings? Little oblong bits meant to be cubes? Whatever you fancy.  As ever, this is YOUR ragu pie.  Anyway, fry these in a large pan with some olive oil, or perhaps some of that freaky looking Flora stuff Vernon Kay and his fake Mum would have you use.  It might do good things to your system, but I'm not sure what because Carol Vorderman wasn't there to show me with her fingers.
2. Add a few rashers of chopped BACON (lardons, if you will) and fry more, then stir in a goodly amount of chopped GARLIC.  When the garlic is just starting to take add some good quality BEEF MINCE and fry everything up together, adding sliced MUSHROOMS after a bit and frying those too. 
3. Now, dissolve a BEEF OXO CUBE into about two thirds of a cup of water and add, bringing to the boil.  Stir in a decent splat of TOMATO PUREE, then add a tin of CHOPPED TOMATOES. 
4. When all this is nicely simmering, add SALT, PEPPER, and DRIED BASIL and then splosh in a GLASS OF RED WINE. 
5. Simmer and stir, simmer and stir.
6. When the sauce has reduced nicely, transfer it to nice little pie dishes.  Get some POTATOES and slice them with a mandolin or some other super-thin-slicing-device.  Did you see how I called this a "rustic" potato crust?  That means you don't have to peel the potatoes.  I do these little things for you, see?
7. Arrange your potato slices on top of your pie, brush with olive oil, sprinkle with a little rock salt and grate over a small amount of GRANA PADANO, or PECORINO or PARMESAN cheese.  Or if you want to go proper mountain you can do EMMENTAAL and/or GRUYERE.  But not too much in any case.
8. Bake in the oven for however long it takes and at whatever temperature is necessary for the potato crust to go nice and brown and a little crispy. 
9. Serve and enjoy, you madcap fools!

Friday, 8 April 2011

Chicken with Chorizo, Garlic, and Red Wine

This really is incredibly easy to make but it looks and tastes like it must have been vastly complex.  The chorizo does all the work for you, you see?  And it doesn't even mind that no-one's really sure how to pronounce its name. 

1. Brown some CHICKEN THIGHS in a nice big pan with some olive oil.  You can do this dish with breasts but I always find breast meat to be dry and saddening.  Anyway, brown those thighs, making sure you get the skin nice and crispy.  I'm hungry just thinking about it.
2. Add some sliced ONIONS, and soften along with the chicken.  It's OK if the edges of the onions go a little brown too.  That just makes it nicer, you know?
3. CHORIZO time! Add it to the pan (after shoving some in your mouth like a furtive dormouse and mumbling "chef tax chef tax").  Now, I use chorizo out of a sausage, and slice it myself into chunks.  This is better than the pre-sliced stuff, but your actual best bet would be to go to a really nice deli and get the kind of chorizo that's all soft and squidgy, because that creates a nicer texture at the end of the dish.  Chandos Deli in Clifton Village in Bristol do amazing chorizo, if you're ever in that neck of the woods.  They also do the most delicious sun-blush tomatoes, but that's a story for another day...
4. When the orange from the chorizo has started to go all over the onions and the chicken, it's time to add GARLIC mashed with a CHICKEN STOCK CUBE.  Remember, mash them together in a pestle and mortar as per my instructions in other dishes.  While you're doing it, amuse yourself by trying to guess which is the pestle and which is the mortar, and promising yourself you really will google it this time.  Anyway, add some DRIED THYME or FRESH THYME if you have a friend who read your blog and bought you a little dried thyme pot because you mentioned you didn't have any.  Add this to the pan, like I said, and then stir it all together so the garlic frizzles gently.  Have you been turning your chicken over and over?  I hope so. 
5. Time to deglaze the pan, and what better than HALF A BOTTLE OF RED WINE?  Smell it going in.  Lovely.  Simmer and stir, simmer and stir.
6.  When the wine has reduce a bit, add about half a jar or so of PASSATA.  Simmer and stir, simmer and stir.  If you haven't already, season with SALT and FRESHLY-GROUND BLACK PEPPER.
7. I'm hoping you've had the oven pre-heating to a low temperature.  Transfer all your goodies to a nice oven-proof dish and put it in for a good long time. 

When it comes out you will be amazed at the dark, rich tastiness, and the meltiness of the chicken, which should fall right off those bones.  TASTY!

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Balsamic Lemon Chicken with Olives

This is a good recipe with which to AMAZE and DELIGHT your friends.  They will marvel over your skill with chicken, and mutter to themselves about how they didn't realise you were this good at cooking. 

1. Get some CHICKEN.  This much is obvious.  It can be any kind of chicken.  You might be one of those mad people who favours the dry, dull breast over the moist, tasty dark meat.  I don't want to know you, but I will give you my recipe, if only because I literally cannot stop you reading now you've come this far.   Anyway, get CHICKEN and brown it off in a pan.  We're pretending this recipe is Italian, so olive oil is a good thing here. 
2. Once the chicken is a bit brown add some ONIONS chopped into half moons.  Brown these also.
3. As this is happening remove the skin and nasty ends from some fat cloves of GARLIC and mash them in a pestle and mortar along with a KNORR CHICKEN STOCK CUBE, so they make a lovely garlicky, stocky paste.  You may be starting to think I'm sponsored by Knorr here so let me be clear: Knorr cubes for mashing and stock-making, Knorr Stockpots for adding to or making sauces or glazes, Oxo cubes for sprinkling.  
4. Once the chicken and onions have browned add the garlicky stock-mash and fry some more.  Then add some DRIED BASIL, some CRACKED BLACK PEPPER, some DRIED CHILLI FLAKES, and a decent number of GREEN and BLACK olives, fresh from their brine-jars, pitted and halved. 
5. Add a liberal, confident splosh of BALSAMIC VINEGAR and then squeeze some, but not too much, juice from a LEMON into your mix, and a little extra whoosh of OLIVE OIL.  Don't throw away the lemon!  Add a little BOILING WATER, just enough to cover the onions and olives, and then start to reduce down.
6. Simmer and stir, simmer and stir.  When the whole thing has reduced down, a lot or a little depending on whether you want a thick sticky glaze-like sauce, or a more jus-like consistency, it's time to put the whole thing into and oven-friendly dish.  Cut your lemon into eighths and add it to the dish, and bake away for a while at a not too high temperature, say around 180 or so. 
7. Remove from the oven, and take out the lemon pieces.  You can use them for garnish if you like, though I've heard Michel Roux Junior say you shouldn't put anything on a plate you can't eat.  Or perhaps it wasn't him.  It was someone on Masterchef.  Anyway, serve with something nice and green like broccoli or kale, and watch your friends and loved ones reassess you before your very eyes.