Noodle Soup

This is tasty, and my vegetarian friends will be delighted to see that it really doesn't have to be meaty...

1. In a deep pan, lightly fry some CHOPPED GARLIC, CHOPPED CHILLIES, CHOPPED LEEK, SLICED MUSHROOMS, BABY CORN, and FRESH or STRAIGHT TO WOK NOODLES.  I also added some CHICKEN but you don't have to.  I rather think that if you were able to get your hands on some DIM SUM DUMPLINGS that they would make quite an addition.  Simon seemed to think you could get them from Tesco but I'm not at all sure about that.  You'd add them after adding the liquid anyway, if you did have some, not now. 
2. Meanwhile, make up a goodly amount of CHICKEN or VEGETABLE STOCK, then slosh in some THAI FISH SAUCE (this you CAN get from TESCO), some SOY SAUCE, and some LIME JUICE.  Add a couple of LEMONGRASS STICKS and allow to infuse.
3. Stir some lovely CHOPPED FRESH MINT and CHOPPED FRESH CORIANDER and also some GROUND CORIANDER into your pan, then add your liquid.  Bring to the boil and then allow to simmer for ten minutes, or longer if you want.
4. Season to taste with SALT and PEPPER, then serve up with chopsticks and a spoon. 

Lambtasty

Don't fancy Porktasty?  Here's Lambtasty!

1. Do the same as in porktasty, but don't add cinnamon, instead add a small amount of CUMIN SEEDS, and perhaps some DRIED ROSEMARY, and a LAMB STOCK CUBE instead of a pork one.
2. Cider vinegar?  No!  Use RED WINE VINEGAR!

Otherwise it's all the same, and I'm not typing it out again, sorry. 

Porktasty

 The virtue of this is that it tastes great. It does involve three separate manoeuvres, so I can't claim it's as simple as some of my one-pot stuff, but don't be put off - it really isn't hard. Unless you're a fool. Are you a fool? I hope not.

1. First off, chop your lovely AUBERGINE (that's EGGPLANT to you, my American friends) and COURGETTES (ZUCCHINI) and put them in a roasting tin with some CHERRY TOMATOES.  Season and drizzle with oil then roast in your finest oven.
2. Have a bit of a break, then it's time to start thinking about the next bit.  Get some cous cous and make it up in a bowl with some CHICKEN STOCK GRANULES added to the boiling water, not too many, but enough to add flavour to the cous cous.
3. While that's doing it's magic fluffy thing, it's time for the third bit!  For this, you need to put some FAT CLOVES OF GARLIC, a PORK STOCK CUBE, some CORIANDER SEED, some GROUND CORIANDER, some GROUND CINNAMON, some DRIED THYME, some DRIED CHILLI FLAKES, and some SALT and PEPPER into your pestle and mortar and pound, pound, pound.  Add a little OLIVE OIL to help make it go all paste-y.
4. Take some NICE PORK, something with a little fat on.  Pork belly would do if you're feeling fatstravagant, or pork steaks are fine.  Just nothing too lean.  Lean pork is a sad thing.  Pigs are not made to be thin.  Anyway, chop it into bite-sized pieces and fry it up in a good pan. When it's starting to coat itself in the magical brown juice that appears if you fry pork long enough, turn the heat down and add your garlic mix.  Fry this slowly until the garlic has had a chance to take and then add a healthy dollop of RUNNY HONEY.  Stir all this in then add a few tablespoons of CIDER VINEGAR.  Turn the heat up again and reduce everything down into a sticky mess, stirring constantly.
5. Is everything done?  Have you fluffed your cous cous with a fork? Are you satisfied with the state of your vegetables? If so, then go ahead and mix it all together, though try not to break up the tomatoes when you do.  It might be an idea to reserve them and add them last.  Just saying.
6. Season to taste and serve!

N.B. I have, in the past, added steamed broccoli, which is another faffy step, but if you have someone helping you really does taste good.  Up to you.  In fact, this is now YOUR porktasty, so use whatever veg you fancy.  I won't judge. Not carrots though.  That would be madness.

N.B. Like the sound of porktasty but don't/can't eat pork? Why not try lambtasty? Lambtasty has its very own page on this blog, just for you!

Linguine with Smoked Salmon and Capers

Annikki has asked about easy midweek suppers, so here's one:

1. Boil your LINGUINE.
2. When it's cooked and drained put it in a pan with some OLIVE OIL, GARLIC SALT, SMOKED SALMON TRIMMINGS, BLACK PEPPER, CAPERS, and a VEGETABLE OXO CUBE dissolved in about a quarter of a mug of water.  Stir everything through over a low-medium heat so the salmon starts to go less orange and more pink.
3. Stir in about half a tub of CREME FRAICHE.  I used the healthy eating stuff and it didn't seem to affect the taste adversely, so you could do that if you liked.
4. Now, here's where you add about 30g of CHEESE.  I never like to be prescriptive about cheese, so by all means choose your favourite, but I would recommend not using cheddar as it can be greasy in these situations.  My big surprise was that I used Double Gloucester with Onions and Chives from the Co-Op and it worked amazingly well, so that could be a way to go.  Anyhow, stir in your cheese so it melts and coats the rest of the linguine.
5. Finally, stir in about half a pack of WILD ROCKET, until the rocket wilts into the dish.
6. Serve, in nice bowls, perhaps with some crusty garlic bread, which you will have earned by not using full-fat creme fraiche.  And enjoy!

Ragu Pie with a Rustic Potato Cheese Crust

You're going to love me for this one.

1. Cube some peeled CARROTS, and chop up a couple of ONIONS.  Half moons? Rings? Little oblong bits meant to be cubes? Whatever you fancy.  As ever, this is YOUR ragu pie.  Anyway, fry these in a large pan with some olive oil, or perhaps some of that freaky looking Flora stuff Vernon Kay and his fake Mum would have you use.  It might do good things to your system, but I'm not sure what because Carol Vorderman wasn't there to show me with her fingers.
2. Add a few rashers of chopped BACON (lardons, if you will) and fry more, then stir in a goodly amount of chopped GARLIC.  When the garlic is just starting to take add some good quality BEEF MINCE and fry everything up together, adding sliced MUSHROOMS after a bit and frying those too. 
3. Now, dissolve a BEEF OXO CUBE into about two thirds of a cup of water and add, bringing to the boil.  Stir in a decent splat of TOMATO PUREE, then add a tin of CHOPPED TOMATOES. 
4. When all this is nicely simmering, add SALT, PEPPER, and DRIED BASIL and then splosh in a GLASS OF RED WINE. 
5. Simmer and stir, simmer and stir.
6. When the sauce has reduced nicely, transfer it to nice little pie dishes.  Get some POTATOES and slice them with a mandolin or some other super-thin-slicing-device.  Did you see how I called this a "rustic" potato crust?  That means you don't have to peel the potatoes.  I do these little things for you, see?
7. Arrange your potato slices on top of your pie, brush with olive oil, sprinkle with a little rock salt and grate over a small amount of GRANA PADANO, or PECORINO or PARMESAN cheese.  Or if you want to go proper mountain you can do EMMENTAAL and/or GRUYERE.  But not too much in any case.
8. Bake in the oven for however long it takes and at whatever temperature is necessary for the potato crust to go nice and brown and a little crispy. 
9. Serve and enjoy, you madcap fools!